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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

If My Fingers Were Penises​.​.​.

from An Audio Recollection Of Detestable Erectional Misadventure by Festerfuck

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lyrics

Strangely arousing, fantasies of phallic feelers
I want my fingers to become five little penises
Touching anything would be rather pleasant for me
Except for zippers and casserole dishes fresh out the oven
If I were to ever get mad and strike someone out of anger
They would be a maligned recipient of a quintuple cockslap
Foreplay and finger-banging could leave a girl pregnant
With an extremely messy five-way hand-jaculation

If only my...

Fingers were...

If only my... fingers were penises!

My bro's high fives would really hurt me something awful
And delicious fried chicken would lead to autofellatio

My fingernails need to be replaced with glans!

Tactile modification!
Penile articulation!

General genital daily interaction!

Pissing out my pinkie!
Bonerific birdie!

I'd twiddle my thumbs until I bust a nut!

If only my stupid fingers were penises!

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Festerfuck Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Festerfuck was goofy, deathgrindwhatever from the bowels of Wisconsin land. Shat into existence in 2008, we are a prime example of why people with bent dicks, no money and a steady .24 BAC shouldn’t be allowed to touch expensive instruments.

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